Some like it hot

This was first published for GoTravel24.com.

What is a traditional Christmas? Ask a European or a North American and their damp description will seem totally alien to our stinking hot annual beach fest. While we light fires to cook meat, they huddle around them to defrost their fingers. As we try and stave off sweat by splashing around the pool, they are scraping ice from the window frame while sipping hot toddies. When you are getting dunked by a wave, they are throwing snowballs at the geek who lives on the corner.

The debate has occurred often - which is a superior way to spend Christmas? Is it better to enjoy the wintery "traditional" end-of-year, or to hit the African coastline and bake for a few weeks?

Although we may enjoy the warmth that comes around our side during the festive time of year, and laugh at the wet and/or snowy conditions infesting the top half of the globe, we do have to deal with sunburn. I have very often spent Christmas day with my skin matching the deep red shades of Santa's jacket due to excessive beach hours and a flippant attitude to sun cream. There are no such dangers in Europe, the US or Canada as they don't see proper sun for at least another three months. At times I think it is great having the hot weather, but when I am sweating profusely in my bed at night (sleeping on my front so my burning back (covered in Aftersun) can get some peace) I do crave some respite from the heat. While we perspire into our sheets, our peers in the shady half of Earth are building snowmen.

There are many things that the Northern-hemisphereans pride themselves in, one of which is gluhwein (or mulled wine in the UK). For quite obvious reasons, drinking warm, sweet, fruity mush is not too smart in Durban in December as it would exacerbate the temperature within you and probably kick off an internal explosion. Consumption of it at minus-5 degrees in Germany is far less hazardous. However, can you beat an ice-cold beer or coke on a stunningly hot coastal day? As you twist the lid off your frosty, there is that gentle hiss that promises coolness. I can't think of any winter drink can that quite provides that same satisfaction. It is actually worth sitting in the sun and getting revoltingly hot to earn your drink properly.

A practicality that totally dumbfounds me is Father Christmas' attire in this disgustingly warm southern hemisphere weather. What kind of tonsil wears a big thick red suit in a South African summer? Poor Santa must swelter during his rounds down by our part of the world, particularly on the east coast. I've already written my Christmas letter this year, and included a recommendation that he rethinks his inappropriate (and, let's be honest, so-very-yesteryear) attire for the 2010 festive season.

There are a few who manage to cook a turkey on a braai, but my family are too stingy to buy a braai that's large enough. We rely on traditional South African vleis to accompany our Christmas potato-bake. Rolls of boerewors, good SA steaks, lamb, chicken - if it fits on the braai then it's fair game. As mentioned, turkeys don't fit in bog-standard grills so they need to go into the oven. Oven-cooked meat is a phenomenon that doesn't compute in my braai - holiday food is cooked on a fire or not at all.

So, taking into account the weather and culinary differences between our Christmas and theirs, I would far rather be here. Eating braai meat in the sun is the perfect way to spend any kind of holiday.

This was first published for GoTravel24.com.

Air safety - just do it

This was first published for GoTravel24.com.

You've been sitting in a volcano-obstructed airport for five days, your nerves are frazzled, you reached the end of your tether so damn long ago you can't even remember what colour it was, and now you're finally boarded.

You know the drill: The emergency exits are two in the front, four over-wing and two at the rear. Should there be a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the roof. Put your tray table up for take-off and landing... *snore*

The repetitive presentation we have to sit through at the beginning of every flight can be quite annoying. In fact, anyone who has taken more than ten flights in their life could probably repeat it to you verbatim because it's been the same for as long as I can remember (with the exception of the annoyingly-remixed Kulula version).

But these recommendations are enforced by the International Aviation Transport Association (IATA) and Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) for a reason, and I promise you they know more about airline safety than you or I do.

For some reason, people have to sometimes show that they flagrantly disagree with the rules. Amazingly, these idiots fail to realise that every rule is there for a reason.

Do you know why your tray table has got to be stowed away during take-off and landing? It is because that is absolutely the most dangerous time for a flight. If anything is going to go wrong it is probably going to be either at the beginning or the end. So seat backs and tray tables go up in case the aircraft needs to be evacuated for some reason.

See? It's really rather logical.

Think of the tight squeeze the average person deals with to fit into that space. Without packing all obstructions away our attempts to leave an aircraft become even more eye-of-needle-esque, and if the aircraft is on fire I would prefer the disembarking process to be at its swiftest.

I have personally witnessed a man fight with an air stewardess (we aren't allowed to call them trolley-dollies anymore. You only have to be slapped once to discover this) because she told him to turn his iPod off and remove the earphones from his ears.

All of a sudden he was an airline safety expert.

In fact, an editor from a large travel website in the UK recently went on a rampage against airline safety requirements, including iPods as he said he didn't see how they could be dangerous. What these morons miss is that when your iPod is blaring Jy dink jys cooler as ekke into your ears, you can't hear instructions from the flight deck or cabin crew who might be shouting something important like "brace brace".

Generally, when a plane is plummeting toward the ground, there isn't enough time to say everything twice, so those who only heard half of the announcement while they pulled earphones out could be fairly clueless as to who's coming tops in the aircrafts battle with gravity.

People also tend to fight the seatbelt battle, wondering why the pilot recommends keeping it fastened while in the air? Well, my chinas, if you are in the air without wearing your seatbelt and the plane drops 200ft in an air-pocket, your head will klap the roof of the plane faster than SAA can lose a bag. While you spend time trying to remember your name, those of us with the wisdom to keep our seatbelts fastened will regale our friends and families with tales of what happened to the poor oke with the bleeding head sitting in front of us.

So next time you feel the need to torture the cabin crew with your own version of what IATA-ratified airline safety should entail, you should preferably sit down, shut up and watch the safety demonstration as you are whisked off to your destination.

If I was an air steward and you gave me this kind of trouble, you'd be rewarded with the funkiest tasting chicken sandwich, come food-trolley time.

This was first published for GoTravel24.com.

In defence of King Shaka

This was first published for GoTravel24.com.

Much has been said about the new centre of air traffic in KwaZulu-Natal, King Shaka International Airport (KSIA). Most of it negative. Yes, it cost R7-billion. Yes, it needs to be paid for. Yes, it's further away from Durban and on the other coast nogal. Yes, the old airport wasn't running at full passenger capacity. And yes, you've got to get through a bloody R4 toll.

Well, swallow your anger, folks. Government, often accused of an inherent lack of forward thinking - like that shining light of achievement in utterly damp failure, Eskom - has responded to predicted KZN growth in tourism and cargo. ACSA projections claim that Durban International Airport (DIA) would have maximised its potential in the next few years, and it was much cheaper to build KSIA now than wait until that point.

Airports cost money. Building this one was unavoidable. You, yes you, the taxpayer, were going to have to pay for it anyway. ACSA tariffs are going to go up, but not to the degree that some would have you believe - I crunched some numbers and estimate the increase to be about 6%-7% on a R900-R1000 ticket.

While DIA may not have run at top passenger capacity, it is easy to forget that Durban is Africa's biggest and busiest port, and that two-thirds of all ship containers enter South Africa through it, much of which is then transported by plane.

Not only does King Shaka International increase Durban's capacity to move cargo, it also incorporates state-of-the-art equipment and will be able to move more types of goods across more industries. A lot of cargo has to go through Johannesburg - taking a day longer as it's done by truck - because of limited facilities at DIA. This new airport is set up to get around that and will hopefully spare all of us who use the N3 between Joburg and Durban that truck-related grief we've grown so accustomed to.

Along with cargo trade, tourism is also on the increase in this, the double-summered city. It currently makes up 10% of the GDP of the province itself. Also, in October 2009, Emirates began direct flights from Dubai to Durban - the only major international airline to operate international (not regional) flights to the city without going through Johannesburg or Cape Town. DIA's runway was too short for a fully-laden Boeing 747 to take off, which also means landing the new Airbus A380 (which forms part of the Emirates fleet) was impossible. KSIA's new runway takes care of that problem. An international airline direct to Durban, creating easy travel, is a great asset for tourism and the new airport should encourage more of this.

Take a look at this statistical comparitive of the two airports

STATISTIC	DIA	KSIA
Runway length:	2.4km	3.7km
Aircraft parking bays:	23	34
Air bridges:	Zero	16
Annual passenger capacity:	4.4 million	7.5 million
Check-in counters:	52	72
Passenger terminal floor area:	30 000 sqm	102000 sqm
Retail space:	2 900sqm	6 500sqm
Retail outlets:	23	52
Public parking bays:	2490	6500

The airport location was decided under the previous government back in the 70s and it is not as though one can just build an airport anywhere. After all a 3.7 kilometre runway and 102 000 square meter terminal need quite a lot of room. Forty kilometres from the city centre to the airport is not an unfairly long way if travelling by car and folks living on the north coast have been driving that far to the airport since its inception. Guess what? They are all still ok.

Keep in mind that the airport's position is not only important for locals departing, but also visitors arriving. Umhlanga, Durban's money-making tourist centre is closer to the new airport than the old one. The drive is the same as from the northern suburbs of Johannesburg to OR Tambo International and 10km closer than people from Pretoria have to drive.

And if you are really put off by the R4 toll you have to pay, there is an alternative route up the R102. If you still feel bad about an extra toll, just compare your situation to the massively-increased idea about to be deployed in Joburg. It'll cheer you right up.

So next time you fly to Durban and land at King Shaka International Airport, appreciate the good that will come of it.

This was first published for GoTravel24.com.